CROSSROADS

CHAPTER 14

I’m back! This chapter is kinda short. Everyone that left their twitter @ name, I followed. For all of you guys that gave me your email addresses, I sent the sneak peek to this chapter to you! I decided that an Interlude is needed before the next chapter. I'm NOT going to email the Interlude as it will be up this weekend!! The next chapter should be up in 2-3 days after the Interlude. I’m going to email a sneak peek to that chapter before I post it as I did with is chapter, so if I already have your email address you DON'T have to send it again. If you don’t feel comfortable leaving your email addresses on blogger you can always DM me on twitter.  I’ll mention everyone when I send the sneak peek via email. Thanks & Enjoy :)

It has been two months since Nicki invited Drake over to see her new condo in LA. She was back and forth between NY and LA every other week. Being in LA was bittersweet being that LA was a fresh start for her but also a reminder that Drake and her wasn’t together.  New York was better but she still felt alone even when she had her friends around. Young Money had just put out Bedrock and they were garnering a lot of attention from it since it was topping the charts at a fast pace just like Wayne had predicted it would. Everyone wanted a piece of Nicki Minaj once they released the video for ‘5 star chick’ and ‘Bedrock’ so between interviews and appearances she kept herself busy.

Nicki was over to her mother’s house one day while visiting New York. She missed her family and due to her crazy schedule she was rarely around them. Her mother was always supportive of her decisions even if she felt like they were wrong. She didn’t know anything in Nicki’s private life that was going on and it worried her because when Nicki was younger she talked to her about everything. Mama Carol just took it as a sign that her daughter was now an adult and making major decisions in life on her own and she understood that she needed to live her own life. Nicki and her dad weren’t always on good terms throughout her childhood but they had moved passed all the drugs, hurt and pain that he caused his family and they became stronger. Her brother Jelanie had his own apartment in Queens and was also expecting a new baby in a few months. He already had a young daughter at home with his fiancé and now that he they were expecting again he wanted to move to a nicer neighborhood in Manhattan. Ciah on the other hand was eleven and doing very well in school. Nicki always knew he would be the smart one even when he was a baby.

“What’s been going on with you lately?” Her mother asked sitting on the couch next to her.

“Everything” she simply stated.

“What is everything?”she asked confused.

“Well I’ve been having a lot of interviews and features lately” she revealed.

“That’s a good thing...isn’t it?”

“Yeah, you could say that” she shrugged.

“You should be happier about it, what’s going on?” she asked concerned.

“I don’t know ma, lately I’ve just been lonely I guess” Nicki admitted.

“Nicki the right person to share it with will come along eventually when you least expect them” her mother replied.

“I know but-“ Nicki took a moment to think about how to ask her mother a question without her knowing she was thinking about someone in particular. “What made you stick by dad?” she asked hesitantly. Mama Carol took a deep breath.

“Love Nicki”

“But how, I know it was hard”

“It was very hard but when you love a person you’ll stand by them no matter what life throws your way” Nicki took a second to think about what she just said and she was right. “Why are you asking me this?” her mother asked worried.

Nicki fell silent.

“Tanya what’s been going on baby?” she asked sternly. Nicki hated when her mother called her by her middle name because that mean she was serious. “You used to tell me everything, what happen? I feel like I don’t know you and it’s not a good feeling” Nicki immediately felt guilty knowing she was causing her mother to worry. She took a deep sigh.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately, ma. Things have gotten so hectic and I really miss those days when I could just sit down and talk to you about everything” she confessed.

“I understand that you’re busy baby”

"It’s not just that” Nicki shook her head. "I've been seeing someone for about two months now" she blurted out. Mama Carol scrunched up her face.

"And you didn't tell me?" her mother asked hurt.

"I wanted to but I was just wrapped up in the relationship...I guess." she said lowering her head.

"You always put your all into relationships, so I'm not really upset but how are you lonely?" she asked confused.

"We just recently broke up" she simply stated.

"In two months! What happened Tanya?" Mama Carol asked shocked.

"Well he has a daughter and a live-in Nanny"

"Go on" her mother signaled.

"And I don't trust her at all around him"

"Let me guess you broke things off with him, am I right?"

"Yes, but I caught her trying to seduce him ma"

"WHAT?" Mama Carol said shocked. "What was his reaction?"

"He said he didn't want to fire her because he don't want to put his daughter through another adjustment"

"That's understandable. Where is the child's mother?"

"She died a couple years ago"

"Wow. So he's a single dad. What do he do for a living?'

"He's a rapper just like me, we met when I got signed. I still have feelings for him but he isn't willing to get rid of her anytime soon"she said letting a tear fall from her face. Mama Carol pondered for a bit which made Nicki anxious at what she had to say.

"Come here baby" she said extending her arms out. Nicki burried her face in her mother's chest sobbing. "You can't let this get the best of you, he'll come around soon and if he don't that's his loss not yours. They always do but that's no reason to run away like you did" she said rubbing her back. "Look at me" she said loosening her grip from around her and lifting her chin up. "Give him a chance to love you. When the going gets tough stick it out to the end, your hear me?" Nicki shook her head as Mama Carol wiped her tears away.

"Ma he said he loved me" she said between sobs.

"Do you love him?" she asked. Nicki nodded. "Then let him" she said hugging her tight.  Nicki took all her mother was saying in. She thought that by breaking it off with him; it would be best but now she wasn't so sure. She laid her head in her mother's lap while she played in her hair.

A few hours later, Nicki arrived back home. Talking with her mom made her feel guilty about leaving Drake the way she did. He was willing to work on the relationship but she just couldn’t stand around and be hurt anymore. In a way she knew that it was selfish of her to leave him in such a confused and emotional state. Deep inside, something told her that Lisa had anterior motives for doing what she did; she just couldn’t put a finger on it. Nicki just wondered how she could help Drake see that. She had so much to think about. It was getting late and she decided stay in tonight and just think things over.

The next day Lauren needed to talk to Nicki and tell her where her mind was at regarding the miscarriage. Lately it was all she thought about and her conscious was getting to her. She and Nicki sat in Nicki’s room talking while Safaree was gone.

“If it’s hurting you, then why don’t you just tell him?”

“I’m afraid, it might be too late. What if he hates me after this?”

“Babe he’s not going to hate you but he probably will be angry and to be honest he has a right to be”

"I know but-“

“Just tell him. The longer you wait the worse it gets” she said cutting her off. Lauren leaned into Nicki’s chest and cried. She didn’t want to keep it from him anymore but she also wasn’t ready for his reaction. Things were just turned upside down and she didn’t know how to handle it all. Nicki held her tight and rubbed her back softly. “I’m here if anything, you hear me?” Lauren just shook her head. Safaree knocked on Nicki’s door moments later.

“Nic” Lauren lifted her head up quickly wiping away her tears. She looked at Nicki glossy eyed. Nicki gave her a reassuring nod.

“Come in” she yelled. He opened the door and his face immediately went to Lauren. Her eyes were red and puffy.

“Oh I’m sorry for interrupting. I came to tell you that I got us some food but I’ll leave so you guys can talk” he said turning around. Nicki looked to Lauren, her face was somber.

“Safaree” she croaked. He turned back and looked at their facial expressions. He knew something was up. “I need to talk to you” she said looking down at her hands.

“Are you ok?” he asked. Nicki sensed that her presence was no longer needed at this point so she hugged Lauren and quietly left her bedroom leaving them to talk alone.

“I’m fine…well for the most part” she said still not making eye contact with him.

“What does that even mean? I’m confused” he said walking over and sitting beside her. Lauren scooted away a little in nervousness.

“I –I-I have to tell you something very important” she managed to get out.

"I’m listening, you could tell me” he replied. Lauren paused for a minute thinking of how to reveal it. Safaree grew impatient but he didn’t let it show. “Did someone die or something?” he asked.

“Yeah” she said lowly.

“Is it a family member?”

“Yeah”

“Well just tell me. I know it’s probably not related to me but I’ve had family members die before so I can relate” he said holding her hand in his.

“Actually it is related to you” she stated dazing off at the wall.

“What are you talking about?” he said getting frustrated. Lauren couldn’t hold it in any longer noticing the frustration in his voice.

“Remember when we got drunk that night awhile back and we both decided to pretend that it hadn’t happened and forget about it?” she asked.

“Yeah I remember”

“Well I can’t just forget about it because I-I-I got pregnant and I didn’t even know until I miscarried a few weeks after we made that agreement. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I just didn’t know how to, you told me that you wasn’t trying to be in a relationship with me. I didn’t know what to do so I just didn’t say anything” she said tears now falling uncontrollably.  Safaree snatched his hand away and stood up pacing the floor. He was pissed. Lauren looked at his face and knew that he was hurt.

“YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT FOR TWO YEARS YOU HID THE FACT THAT WE CREATED A BABY BUT IT DIDN’T MAKE IT?” HE ASKED JUST TO MAKE SURE HE HEARD RIGHT.

“Yes” she said shaking her head.

“LAUREN WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS” HE SAID GETTING LOUDER.

“I TOLD YOU WHY. DON’T GET LOUD WITH ME FAREE. WE BOTH AGREED THAT NOTHING WOULD STEM FROM THAT ENCOUNTER WE HAD, SO DON’T GO BLAMING THIS ALL ON ME!” SHE YELLED.

“DON’T YOU FUCK’N KNOW THAT I DESERVED THE RIGHT TO KNOW THIS WHEN IT HAPPENED! I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE DAMN AGREEMENT WE MADE SO DON’T FEED ME THAT BULLSHIT. EVERYTHING WE AGREED TO WOULD HAVE GONE OUT THE WINDOW IF I KNEW WE CREATED A BABY!!!”

“HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSE TO KNOW, HUH? I SHOULD JUST READ YOUR FUCKING MIND RIGHT?!?! I TOLD YOU HOW I FELT ABOUT YOUAND YOU BASICALLY TOLD ME THAT YOU DIDN’T LOVE OR WANT TO BE WITH ME, SO NO I DIDN’T THINK IT CONCERNED YOU AFTERALL THE BABY DIDN’T EVEN MAKE IT. I HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT ALL ON MY OWN! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT WAS FOR ME? NO, YOU DON’T SO PLEASE DON’T POINT THE FINGER!!”  SHE SAID GETTING UP.

“I WOULD’VE BEEN THERE FOR YOU, DON’T YOU KNOW THAT? WTF, YOU THOUGHT THAT I WOULD LEAVE YOU TO GRIEVE LIKE THAT BY YOURSELF? I’M NOT THAT DAMN SELFISH!!”

"NO I DON’T KNOW THAT. YOU AROUND HERE ACTING AS IF I’M NOTHING TO YOU. HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL, HUH? I HEARD ABOUT LA, AND ALL THE HOES YOU BE WITH FLASHING YOUR ICE N SHIT”

“DO NOT BRING UP WHAT I’M DOING NOW TO MAKE YOUR POINT. THAT WAS WRONG AND YOU KNOW IT I DON’T EVEN WANT TO LOOK AT YOU NO MORE…I’M OUT, HAVE A NICE LIFE”

“I’M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU YET” SHE SAID FOLLOWING HIM.

“WELL JUST LIKE YOU DIDN’T GIVE A DAMN TO TELL ME UNTIL NOW…I DON’T GIVE A DAMN IF YOUR NOT DONE, I AM” With that he left out the room storming downstairs and out the door. Safaree got in his car and drove off leaving Lauren distraught about the whole incident that just took place. Nicki was downstairs eating but she heard every word. She ran upstairs to consol her friend. She felt bad that she had to deal with this but she also felt bad for not telling Safaree. She didn’t want to choose sides at all. She loved them both equally. Safaree was her best friend and she couldn’t help but feel his anger and frustration too.

“Shhh, It’s going to be ok” Nicki said hugging Lauren and rubbing her back.

“I knew this was going to happen and now he hates me. I should’ve told him earlier” Lauren said through tears.

“He doesn’t hate you babe”

“Yes he does, you should’ve seen the look on his face when I told him” she cried.

“He upset that’s all It’ll get better” Nick consoled. Lauren just sat there and cried on Nicki’s shoulder.

Safaree was driving down the road pissed. He couldn’t believe Lauren took so long to tell him something as devastating as that. He was going 90 miles an hour on the highway and he didn’t care. He had to get away and fast.

PLEASE COMMENT